I see the smiling faces,
I know I must have left some traces...
Five years.
Five long years away from this place.
I just spent the last hour reading through all the teenage angst that fills these pages.
It made me laugh.
I've tried on countless occasions to keep a journal. It's proven to be therapeutic.
I've opened up other accounts, I've tried to make a different place for myself to belong...
But yet I always manage to find this place.
So let's start anew. Let's start this as a blog of insight of love and hope instead of the bitterness that sometimes seeps through... and often reaches these internet blog fads.
But first... five years. There's a lot of ground to cover. A LOT. Even though note form will not do it justice... let's just put into perspective the things that have occurred:
- Mom was re-diagnosed with cancer. It metastasized into her brain and lungs. Dad and I spent lots of waking hours looking after her, spending time with her, enjoying her.
- Mom passed away on May 5th, 2009. Even writing those words brings tears to my eyes. I miss her every day of every week of every year that has passed. However... Without having to write down the details that are forever ingrained in my memory. The events were nothing short of poetic and perfect.
- I met Josh. The man I am soon to marry. Shortly after Mom, he came into my life. I cannot deny the sense of divine intervention. He came when I needed someone most. He was going through the same thing with his Mom Cheryl. (who passed away shortly after we were together)
- I've traveled to Las Vegas and the Dominican. I've watched several friends get married, have children. I've become an 'aunt' to three beautiful children, Sienna, Sayde and Rory.
- I've purchased a home. A place for Josh and I to grow.
- I'm planning a wedding to the man of my dreams.
- I started back at school to finally do something with myself... I'm aiming to be a secondary teacher and eventually (or maybe not... we shall see) a guidance counselor.
- Dad moved back to Winnipeg to be with his now fiance Maureen. Who I can honestly say makes me feel so fortunate to have had not only one but two amazing women in my life. I will have a step family... step siblings... it is a VERY odd concept to me. They are to be married in November, two months after Josh and I.
But now onto the point of this story.
Solitary Aloof was started ten years ago when I felt alone and confused (and blogging was the cool way to express this before Facebook came into the picture...) Since it keeps reappearing in my life, it's about time I blog right. To show there's a grownup light at the end of the teenage tunnel. Sure... I'm still a child most of the time... Hell I don't even have my license yet, but I do know one thing: Though I will always have moments of loneliness, anger, frustration and general hate... Life is o.k. Everything seems to work out if you have a little bit of faith.
So welcome back self... it's been a long time coming.
Love Always,
Jamie
xoxo
