Some simple words....

"I'm not aware of too many things. I know what I know if you know what I mean. I'm not aware of too many things. What I am is what I am are you what you are or what. Philosophy, is a walk on slippery rocks. Religion is a light in the fog. I'm not aware of too many things. I know what I know if you know what I mean. What I am is what I am, are you what you are or what..."

What a great song by the amazing Edie Brickell.

Not a lot has happened... actually things have gotten a wee bit better. Aarons saying slight hellos to us, which is amazingly nice... makes me feel tons better. Got 60% in math... I can still go to Blaze. Thank the Lord! (no pun intended lol)

Monday was Dad's 50th... wow... he's old. Kayla and I toiletpapered the lawn and trees of the house... with a huge sign that said 'Holy Crap Steve Turned 50!' really entertaining! Still not speaking with some certain people... oh well. Their loss. Tomorrow will be an amazing day... Chelsie's coming in to speak with the councillers during 5th, and thens gonna come have supper with me and the family then heading off to Blaze... YAY BLAZE! MAKES MY WEEKEND!!!!!
Speaking of which... Allyce and Kaylee are thinking of coming this week... which is going to be amazing! Woot Woot Woot! (yup.. that deserves three woots!) Speaking of Allyce haha she and I may get to do a mural on one of the walls in the school with a collage of famous artisans such as Hendrix, The Beatles, Marley, Ray Chalres, Janis Joplin, Tina Turner, Joni Mitchell, Kurt Cobain, Axl Rose etc. If it works out, and we put a lot of effort into it... it's going to be UNREAL. And Allyce and I will be infamous in the school. Another triple woot!
Oh, and on a final note... we got a package today from none other then the Tansey's from Calgary. They sent a picture of Shay... wow does she look different!!! Oh.. and what I was getting to... was they sent a video of Leon and Lenora in psychedelic wigs and fake guitars airing it to Bridge Of Sighs, changing the lyrics to include The bridge of seniors, the word old and whatnot... honostly I haven't laughed that hard in SUCH a long time! I love our friends!
Anyways, I'm supposed to clean my room, and I certainly want to stay on the good side of the rents... especially with Blaze coming around... ^.^
Later Days and God Bless!
- James

What a most eventful week I have had!
I apologize for not writing sooner, but you see I've had a serious lack of time to just sit down and muse. So whats been going on?
Let me put it into words... very simple words:

Grade 3 friend
Grade 3 friends boyfriend
Elementary school neighbour
Backstabbing
Lieing
Rumours
Gossip
Lack of trust

What else can I say...
I don't know. I've been preparing for Dad's 50th birthday... yup half a century! yikes man.
Basically all I can remember out of the last week was last night... went to watch basketball with Kayla Chelsie and Jason, then Darrick and Tim came, then we went to Chelsies to watch some erotic thriller that Kayla brought over... and that was about it!!!

You didn't think I would ever talk to you? because I'm "popular and pretty"...
That was one of the sweetest things ever... awe.

Later Days.

For lack of a better word...

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Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

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What a great... great long weekend. Just what I needed I assure you.
Wednesday after Blaze I didn't do anything.. I was tired and the next day I got up early for Rememberance Day. On that day Chelsie Martina and I went cruising on 8th street and went to Without A Paddle. Such a funny movie!!!! We also saw Dusty and Donovan there... haven't seen them in a really long time so that was good.
Then on Friday I had a soccer game, and as a surprise Marina and Jane came to watch and then we chilled, went cruising and watched Spice World together... and ate my Moms grilled cheese lol.
Then finally on Saturday there were family socials and I went to Fudds at 10 ish and met up with a lot of people. Stayed there till about 11 or so.. when everyone started heading out to Gregs. Now.. Chelsie and I really wanted to go, but she wasn't allowed to take her car out there, so Jordan being the amazing person he is, offered to drive us out, and drive us back at 1:00. How sweet is that! So we dropped of Chelsie's car and listened to a comedian all the way out to Gregs.. quite funny. Then we saw a really amazing shooting star... it was something out of a movie... like a flaming rocket.. it almost looked like a firework but it certainly wasn't. It was unreal. So we went to Gregs and watched a bit of Sweet Home Alabama. SUCH a romantic cute movie!
Then Jordan drove us back and we listened to the sweetest.. sappiest love songs ever (Never Had A Dream - SClub7, I don't wanna miss a thing - Jacob Hoggard) That kinda stuff (oh and Jordan threw in a Zeppelin there too haha)
It was really fun.... and I did a whole lot of thinking. (Yup.. theres Jamie thinking again!)
And lastly...
Sunday.. all they preached about was money... So we walked out. THATS IT.
The End! <3

God, I don't know where to even begin...
I know you know what I'm going through, but I just want your guidance... Am I making the right choices here?
The school scene is just aweful, I'm not pleased with the people these days. I know in a sense I am being hypocritical, but look at the people around me? I don't like the idea of what I'm going to do, but I know it is what is best for me, and for me along thats all that matters. I thank you for getting me out of my slump, letting me the somewhat joyous side to school, but now I see why you did what you did. I lost contact with myself because I became to caught up with everything else.
I lost track of myself.
I would love a sign to tell me I was doing the right thing, but I know thats not how you work.
I just wish Blaze would come sooner... I need to get away for a while, get back to me, my painting, my writing. Stargazing. I did it at Gregs the otherday, and I held back tears. I miss it, because I've been too occupied with everyone else.
So forgive me lord, I learned my lesson, you've showed me the best people in the world, and the worst side of the best people in the world. It just prooves how I stand with beliefs. And personally, if that affects what social life I have. Then screw it. Simply just screw it. It's not worth my sanity and my soul. I know its the right thing to do... it just has to be. Through this I've discovered the other side... that thing I was looking for for SO long. I certainly don't want to take advantage of that chance, and watch it float away...
I'm becoming less of a person... I'm not proud of who I am or how I may be looked upon. I never wanted it like this, and this is why I'm taking a stand and simply...
Walking Away...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time Of Your Life -- Green Day

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

(music break)

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Alrighty guys.
I'm gonna ramble. Today is officially, rambling time. I'm bored. I really don't want to paint anymore because I'm getting sick of it. And thats about it!
Okay so Period One. BORING as heck. I'm beginning to really not like that class. Its just so repetative!
Okay, so guess what. I'm not going to ramble as much as I thought. I just have so much on my mind I actually don't know what starts and what begins. And that really isn't an exaggeration! I don't know what to tell you... AT ALL! Its just like a bunch of emotions and thoughts all in a knot.. and I can't untie it you know?
Whatever. It'll pass. I'll be going to bed early today anyways. I'm making myself.
The O.C. is on tonight. And Lindsay definatly wants to watch it, and I agreed, and so we're gonna get a bunch of people at Janines (Why at Janines? I actually don't know)
But it seems Lindsay had a good day today. Was up till like 5:30... apparently he had a bit of a breakdown... poor kid. And then his mom let him stay home and so he woke up at 1:30 (luckiest kid ever!)
Greg is going hunting... HUNTING. He said he was gonna shoot a doe and a fawn (which I really believe he's lieing but thats besides the point) And thats about it.
Carley came to prayer this morning. I was impressed.
Jeff came as well.
Woot, we're E X P A N D I N G !
LoL
I'm going out for coffee.
I'll write more when I untie the knot.
Much Love.
God Bless.

So Blaze went well... except for Amandas stalker. He followed her around and finally Alan had to ask him to leave... it was SUPER scary.
So then we go to Fudd's after and Lindsay showed up, but something was obviously bothering him, so I got him to spill.
Wow, what a bunch of sh*t to go through alone.
He even thanked me for making him tell.
I'll be doing some praying for a while that's for sure.
Funny... He told me that a lot of people think that he likes me... and I totally said the same thing back, and we both said we're just like.. best friends. Obviously nothing goin on.
Oh, and I spilled cheese on Aarons shoe
Night

Okay.
So, finally Amanda and I confronted Kayla about the way she's been acting. It seemed to us she was cutting us out of her life for Jenna and David (not that I have ANY problem with em.. I love em!)
So we cleared things up finally. Yay.
Today during religions class, I finally realized what it means to be comfortable in a religion.
We started to learn about Buddhism, and the 8 Fold Path, a code of ethics and morals that Buddah said were key to a happy lifestyle.
And I decided, me being 100% comfortable with my Christianity, accepted and actually admired the 8 Fold Path, and I'm going to try and apply them to my life...

The 8 Fold Path

1) Right Views --> Knowing the four noble truths
2) Right Thoughts --> Letting go of want and desire
3) Right Speech --> Telling the truth; Speaking kindly
4) Right Action --> Not stealing or cheating
5) Right Livlihood --> Earning a living that does not cause harm to others
6) Right Effort --> Trying to follow the path
7) Right Mindfulness --> Being aware of thoughts and actions that affect the world
8) Right Concentration --> The peacful state of mind that is reached by following the path

The Four Noble Truths

1) Suffering exists
2) There is a reason for suffering
3) There is a way to end suffering
4) The way to end is by following the 8 Fold Path.

Is that not simple? So I decided that I can better myself, and those around me if I also look at these simple guidlines. Doesn't mean I'm doubting or drifting from my religion, quite the opposite. I'm trying to enhance my understanding and connection with the world, to better myself and my actions and become a better Christian!
Simple as that.
Yay, Blaze is tomorrow... totally pumped for that one!!!
I'm just going to put the lyrics of a song... a COUNTRY song, that Lindsay kinda got me hooked on. (He said he'd convert me yet... but I will not let that happen! ^.^)

------------------------------------------------

Best Of Intentions

I had big plans for our future
Said I'd give you the whole world somehow
I tried makin' good on that promise
Thought I'd be so much further by now
Never could build you a castle
Even though you're the queen of my heart
But I've had the best of intentions from the start

Now some people think I'm a loser
'Cause I seldom get things right
But you make me feel like a winner
When you wrap me in your arms so tight
Please tell me you will remember
No matter how much I do wrong
That I had the best of intentions all along

[Chorus]
I gave you a ring
And I promised you things
I always thought we'd do
But my best-laid plans
Slipped right through my hands
To show my love for you
And if you could read my heart
Then you'd know without exception
It was all with the best of intentions

[Repeat Chorus]

So here I am asking forgiveness
And praying that you'll understand
Don't think I take you for granted
Girl, I know just how lucky I am
Though you deserve so much better
You won't find devotion more true
'Cause I've had the best of intentions
Girl, I've had the best of intentions
Yes, I've had the best of intentions loving you....

------------------------------------------------

*tear* Thats such a sweet song.

I'm out for the night.. going to bed at 9:30!!! Nighty night! Sleep tight!

Okay, so I was looking through some comics, and Tanys and I have had.. ahem... an interesting discussion of, winning, and losing. Here's my side of the story... (Click on the link)

An appropriate comic....


Pretty funny eh Tanys??
So ya anyways...
Over the past week. or so... I've noticed a real emphasis on prayers. And I'm going to point out, that the things I prayed for, have all happened for the better...
Coincidence?
I think not.
Prayer is by far the best thing in the world when done correctly.
Schools been dull and whatnot.
HOLY HOW ABOUT Y.E.S!!!!!!!
Best weekend of my life, no lies, almost better then when I went through it!
I became closer with a lot of people, like Julia, Alysha, Lindsay and

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD TODAY! I swear.. I know I said its not going to bother me, but it is if it keeps going like this! Wow. Let's clear things up for today everyone...
Lindsay and I are just friends, no, we aren't an "Item" no we don't have a "Thing" that's it. Simple, end of story!
Give it a rest will ya!
Sheesh...
And plus I already have other scenarios to deal with, and yet, I don't know how I'm going to deal with them...
Maybe Lindsay's right... back off and let God do the work for me... I'm stressing to much about it....