Saturday, 31 March 2007
Since You've Been Gone - Theory Of A Deadman
It seems that nothing ever goes my way
Since you broke my heart when you left that day
There's nowhere to go so just stay with me
Cuz since you've been gone, I've been beggin' you please
To tell me you're not alright
And you needed to come home
To tell me you're not okay
And you needed me all along
Since you've been gone
I need to hear from you
Since you've been gone
It seems that every time you swear to God that you're leaving
I'm down on my knees beggin' you to stay
There's nowhere to go so just stay with me
Cuz since you've been gone, I've been beggin' you please
To tell me you're not alright
And you needed to come home
To tell me you're not okay
And you needed me all along
Since you've been gone
Please don't leave me here alone
Just stay awhile
Make me smile
Please don't leave me here alone
Just stay awhile
And, baby, smile
Since you've been gone
I need to hear from you
Since you've been gone
I need to hear you say
Tell me you're not alright
And you needed to come home
Tell me you're not okay
And you needed me all along
Since you've been gone
I need to hear you say
Since you've been gone
Don't tell me
Don't tell me
I need to hear you say...
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
One word.
'Chickened'
Fun times, fun times.
Sunday, 25 March 2007
I chose option d.
I've never had so many emotions come out of me all at once.
And unfortunately I don't feel any better about it. In fact...
I feel like I just lost a part of my life I'm never going to see, or ever get back again.
What have I done...
[E D I T] Tonight, was officially the funnest night in a long time. Drinks at Mcguires, playing some pool, playing some racing games. Grabbing some McDonalds, where I put an ice-cream cone all over a sign. To cruising 8th street, to Derek going to the bathroom in an alley, to us going to play in the park on Sask Cres. to us playing soccer on an ice rink with a juicebox, to us leaving and then getting stuck in the biggest pothole I've ever seen, to the tow-truck having to come out and get us, to curling up in the backseat with Derek trying to get feeling back into my feet.
All in all. Hilarious. I had a great time.
And I'll probably want to do it again soon.
Saturday, 24 March 2007
List of options:
a) Say EXACTLY what is on my mind. Spill it all and hope for the best
b) Don't say everything but try and mend this riff
c) Sit back and watch the friendship fall apart
d) Completely lose it on the individual for tearing me apart
I'd love to go with option a, but d is just looking so promising.
Because it hurts.
I've never felt so, empty and completely disoriented. Somethings missing and I'm using other means to replace it, and naturally that doesn't work.
What was so wrong with me that you just up and left?
Friday, 23 March 2007
I'm tuggin' at my hair,
I'm pullin' at my clothes.
I'm tryin' to keep my cool,
I know it shows.
I'm staring at my feet,
My cheeks are turning red.
I'm searching for the words inside my head.
I'm feeling nervous,
Tryin' to be so perfect,
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it.
If I could say what I want to say,
I'd say I want to blow you--away.
Be with you every night,
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see,
I want to see you go down--on one knee.
Marry me today,
Guess I'm wishing my life away.
With these things I'll never say.
It don't do me any good it's just a waste of time,
What use is it to you what's on my mind?
If it ain't comin' out, we're not going anywhere,
So why can't I just tell you that I care?
'Cause I'm feeling nervous,
Tryin' to be so perfect,
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it.
If I could say what I wanna say,
I'd say I want to blow you--away.
Be with you every night,
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I wanna see,
I want to see you go down--on one knee,
Marry me today,
Guess I'm wishing my life away.
With these things I'll never say.
What's wrong with my tongue?
These words keep slipping away,
I stutter I stumble like I've got nothing to say.
'Cause I'm feeling nervous,
Trying to be so perfect,
'Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it.
I guess I'm wishing my life away,
With these things I'll never say.
If I could say what I want to say,
I'd say I want to blow you--away.
Be with you every night,
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see,
I want to see you go down--on one knee,
Marry me today,
Guess I'm wishing my life away...
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Alright. I'm going to put this as bluntly as I can because I'm sick and tired of thinking about it.
Yes, I could date some other guy (and for once in my life the potentials have been there), yes I should get over it and move on. But I can't. For some reason, for the last five years of my life you gave me hope into fantasy.
You even told me to never give up on my fairytale, because sooner or later it will happen.
So why can't it be with you?
(Sara, I'm sorry I didn't call back. It was a rough afternoon. We'll hang out soon. Love you!)
Friday, 16 March 2007
Tonight?
Could go either way.
Could be shitty and a waste of money...
Or very entertaining... with drinks all around!
I'm hoping for option b.
Unless someone shows up. Then it'll be a..... and very very heartbreaking.
[E D I T]
Well it seems that I probably had one of the greatest nights tonight. It was just refreshing to let loose with the girls for once.
I was in decent spirits until we met up with them at McDonalds.
All downhill from there.
Janine's right. I'm so totally in love with him.
Minus the fact he doesn't reciprocate. (how's that for a word at 3 am and still feeling the reprocussions of the night lol)
And there's not a thing I can do about it.
Monday, 12 March 2007
"You see, that is just like you Harry. You say things like that and youmake it impossible for me to hate you... "-- When Harry Met SallyI was so mad at you.
I was really crushed and hurt by you.
But how you said what you did, made everything seem okay again.
I know you still care... I just wish you would show it better...
I hate you for the fact that I can't stay mad at you,
And how, I can't move on.
[ E D I T ]
It took a few drinks to get the ball rolling.
You knew about it, and you didn't care.
You said it was the right thing...
That it's meant to be.
As flattered as I am to hear everything you said to me,
I'm now just more confused as I have ever been.
It's just so odd when even your ex-girlfriend sees it,
And embraces it.
Saturday, 10 March 2007
You don't fucking deserve her.
You're nothing but a cocky, self-righteous, arrogant tyrant.
What she see's in you I'll never know.
I hope someone calls you out soon and kicks your ass to a fucking pulp.
We'll see who's the smartass then.
----------------
I'm tired. I'm cranky.
And this week has sucked. Sucked bad.
I'm really glad the weeks finally over.
<3
Tuesday, 6 March 2007
Okay. Here's going to be the recap of my soon to be week. Because there certainly won't be any time for personal computer stuff.
- Work. I work for the next 6 days, 1-10, then 8-5 and vice versa. I will be tired, and probably very grumpy.
- Thursday I will be attending my friends birthday concert (yes... I said concert) at The Roxy. Anyone wanting to come? I'd love to see you.
- I'll probably be spending every other waking moment at the library/University gathering books for research
- I'll also be very emotional because I've finally realized that even though I tried my best to make things work... I couldn't do it, because it couldn't happen.
- I MAY be going to Seattle for some protest group. Not to actually protest (that would be fun though) but to just talk with the people and find out how they got started etc. They've always said, a bond between a phone is much much weaker in comparisson to one made in person over coffee.
On a final note.
I'm not doing this whole 'Save the Environment' thing for everyone else, or because of a whim. I'm doing this because I have a conviction to this, something deep down inside of me is telling me this is something that I alone CAN make a difference. It only takes on person to get the ball rolling... right?
So those who doubt my ambition and my abilities? Be prepared to see results. I'm doing this for Minaki, I'm doing this for the cottagers, I'm doing this for the generations to follow us, I'm doing this for my family members whom love the lake dearly, and most importantly. I'm doing this for me. So laugh at me all you want, but one person can make a difference. I will proove you wrong on that my friend.
You're just not going to be invited to the concert of a lifetime...
Later Days!
Sunday, 4 March 2007
It's not going to take phone tag for two weeks to make you say the things I want to hear come from you.
Someday you'll realize how important that was to me, and one day you'll understand how you let me down.
Until the day you put forth a large effort...
I'll see you around.
"The story of life is quicker then the wink of an eye.
The story of love is hello and goodbye,
until we meet again..."
