"So many people today think that they can call anything love, but that completely takes away the meaning of love. To truly be in love you have to understand that faith is believing, all power cant be seen. Some people go looking for love, and think every kiss means forever and every smile means "They’re the one". True love is when you find someone imperfect, that you see perfectly. Someone who in a second, you can look at for the first time and see the world in their eyes. Its when you can know them for 5 minutes and feel like you've known them forever. Love isn't easy, love can hurt. Love can last forever. It can. Or it can be over judged and not be love at all. Lust is commonly mistaken for true love, but it shouldn’t be even close to compared because true love is indescribable. You can put every word in the world that has a sense of amusingness or all the good things you can think of, and at the end of the day, you cant describe true love. You can only feel it. And when you have it you just know!

Its when you can wake up and look at the person next to you, looking back into your eyes. When you can spend 8 hours with them and it only feels like 10 minutes. Someone who interests you, and you think you’ve got figured out, but you know there’s so much more. Some people think seeing a future with someone too soon isn’t good, some people are afraid of the thought. But think into the future for a minute. If you think about love and why people want it, isn’t it because they want it with them, as something in the moment they’re in when they find it and forever more after? its something you need to have before you can even think of your future because love is the base to all good things, and without a base, you're building something on water. You'll drown yourself without it.

True love, is everywhere you go. Its the colors in the sky when the sun comes up or sets, its the song you have to turn up because the words bring this feeling to you of life, the song is something you love because it makes you think of someone or a time when you felt meant a lot in your life. Love is looking at one thing and thinking of a million more things because of it. Love is the look of disappointment in someone’s eyes as they feel upset when you fail, and the hand they lend out to help you stand from your falls. Love is being proud of someone’s success. Its finding the person who not only completes you but shows you who you are and how amazing you are to begin with ! they show you that no ones perfect but everything you have you are lucky to have, and that you should take not a single moment for granted because life's like a clock.. you cant go back in time, you cant pause a single second and stay lost in it forever. thats why we have to use our hearts to within us with hold every single moment we have lived through, because un like a clock, we can look back on them, and in our hearts and minds go back to those moments and realise how lucky we were, how amazing they were, who they made us today.

Love is looking in that persons eyes, for the first time, or the last. And knowing that without them, nothing would be the same. You think of them before you go to bed, and the second you wake up. You dream of them, but it cant compare to a reality that puts fairy tales to shame. True love isn’t finding your fairy tale, its making one that is perfect in your eyes with the person you cant imagine living it without. That, is true love."

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

"I would rather die now then know anything less"

"Marilyn Monroe wasn't even her real name, Charles Manson isn't his real name, and now, I'm taking that to be my real name, But what's real? You can't find the truth, you just pick the lie you like the best"

"When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies. Then what value does that place on love?"

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

I WAS BORN! hahaha.

Happy Birthday... ME!
20 Years old.
Holy F.

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

So saturday turned out 100% opposite of how it was supposed to go down.
Bottom line? I'm officially sick and tired of being let down by the people that are supposed to care about me most.
Screw everyone, and everything (except for the select few whom I've allowed to talk to me this weekend)
I'm going to be so much better off when I'm not here.
I'm pretty confident that I can find better friends in a week elsewhere then I have here in the last 13 years here in Saskatoon. [Again... except for a certain few whom I still care deeply for]

Welcome to a new decade in my life.
There's got to be some drastic changes.

Especially from the one person who always told me they'd never, ever let me down again.
You failed. Miserably.
I've never been more hurt but someone I love so much.

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

¯ Not What It Seems - Something Corporate

What a bizarre evening.
Random, exciting, liberating and completely depressing.

But I'm happy you were comfortable enough to hug me and let me speak my mind to you in your time of need. We're finally getting back on track...
It meant the world to me, and that's something you'll never understand.
It'll all work out for the best... I promise. Because you deserve the best.

Kaylee.... I'm UBER sorry that I left my phone at home.
I completely forgot I told you to call me.
Fuck.
I'll call you tomorrow and hope we can make amends.
I love you! I hope you had a good night!

I'm off to finish the night with a cold drink and an emotional movie.
Night all.

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

I work far too much.
I enjoy my job. I adore the people. But I'm getting worn out. Thank God for weekends lol.
Nothing much new on my end...
Except Kaylee and I saw Sean in his movie. YES! Most exciting day of my life! (pretty close anyways) but needless to say I was very very proud of him.

Also, in the last few days I've spent nearly $100 on scrapbooking stuff because I want to make a scrapbook for the lake. I'm going to combine the last five years into one scrapbook... and then from there make a smaller one for each year (if life goes well)
So I've just got to get a ton of pictures printed and then I can start.

Lately I've had the past on my mind... and its starting to break my heart all over again. Why? I'm not entirely sure but I do know that I can't let it dictate me like this. Nor my drinking habits. Friends come into your life for a reason, either a moment a lifetime or a season.
Maybe I just need to accept that you were just a season in a lifetime disguise.
Ouch. Even thinking that makes me sad. I still have the first thing you ever gave me beside my bed... I've had it there since the day you first talked to me. Is that pathetic? Cuz I have a feeling it is...
But enough about that. I dwell on that enough I don't need to bring it into my blog anymore.

It's going to be VERY busy tomorrow. But it'll all be good.
Maybe i'll have some fun plans for tomorrow. Doubt it.
However... Saturday I will be doing recon work. Notebook and all. Just you watch lol.

Oh... and the note I got when I got home? Adorable. All I can say is awe...

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

¯ Like A Boy - Ciara

Gonna be a long week.
On the plus side. I have a goal. I just need to get there.
Boo yeah.

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

Tonight will be AWESOME.
Drinking with Janine always ends with fun.
Exactly what I needed (Or so I hope!)

And... one drunken phone call to ensue! YAY!

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

Dammit,

How can you miss someone you don't even know.
Ugh.

I want tomorrow night to be spectacular. I need this stress level to go down before I hit another work week.

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

"Do I wait around hoping that it doesnt work out between them, because I reallly like her, but at the same time is that not taking care of my needs, and making me live for her or do I go for her still and try to win her, like a movie. Or do I forget about her, because she had her chance and didn't go for it, and go against all my feelings..."

If there were more guys like you...
The world would be a more beautiful place.

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo

All I'll say is this.
If this were true? I would be head over heels. But I don't know...

Because I don't know you.

But it can't be... because you and I both know those sorts of dreams turn into opposite realities that just crush you.
I'd be a disappointment. Not what you were expecting...
And you could do much... so much better.

Unforunately we won't find out for a while because I need the evidence to say things I'd sheepishly love to say.
I think we've both built the other person to be something more immaculate because our imagination and romantism got in the way.
Maybe it's just best to let it lie over the computer and phone.

It's safer that way.

Love Always,
Jamie xoxo


¯ Too Late To Apologize - Timbaland