Just a note:

I <3 you Signe lol you make my life!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!!

What a day. Quite the adventure!! Deep thoughts, tons of laughter, secrets and more. I especially liked the random wig in the road!

Well... I've talked to my therepists today... I think I know what I need to do. Eeep.

Maybe, just maybe...

Maybe I've got something here... but maybe I don't. I certainly don't want my hopes up for a third time in a row... although they say third times the charm... well shoot.

Taken-aback and tounge-tied,

that's all I can manage to say... i'm at a loss for words... enter a blushing Jamie here...

How did it end up like this...

Thanks Allie. I don't know what I would do without you. You certainly gave me some good advice and definately gave me some insight into what needs to be done.
"I love until the world blows up and we all die from pollution and global warming."
Your the best.

Later Days,
- J

Where I used to sit all alone in the dark, and dream about things that I cannot say...

Well... I can't say it was my bestest birthday. But it all in all went extremely well. Life's been throwing its cards at me, both good and bad lately... but I've still overcome with flying colors. Although Papa's death is still really taking its toll on me. I haven't been sleeping that well and I've been having my moments of tears. But it's all textbook type notions of coping. It was sad when Nana called today and just wanted to talk, and we just talked for an hour. She needed it I think.
I've chosen a new theme song of my life... it has so many hidden metephors and deep personal meanings to me. Cavanaugh Park by Something Corporate. Remarkable song.
On a side note, how come you can convince someone out of your heart, yet they still manage to weasel their way back in without you even knowing until there's nothing you can do about it? Simply facinates me. I've just got to play it safe with myself... I can't afford pain right now, I'm not sure how long it would take to recover.

On another side note. Based on this weeks events. I just want to extend a happy and love filled thank you to friends. Why? Because well, although there are numerous times where people are taken advantage of, lies, deception, etc. But all in all, a person could not be any happier to even say they have friends like the ones I do. I'm sorry for the future if I ever hurt you or make you upset. Please don't ever think I never appreciated our friendship.

Later days boys and girls. I'm out for the night.
- J

Eighteen - Alice Cooper

Lines form on my face and hands
Lines form from the ups and downs
I'm in the middle without any plans
I'm a boy and I'm a man

I'm eighteen
And I don't know what I want
Eighteen
I just don't know what I want
Eighteen
I gotta get away
I gotta get out of this place
I'll go runnin in outer space
Oh yeah

I got a
Baby's brain and an old man's heart
Took eighteen years to get this far
Don't always know what I'm talkin' about
Feels like I'm livin in the middle of doubt
Cause I'm,

Eighteen
I get confused every day
Eighteen
I just don't know what to say
Eighteen
I gotta get away

Lines form on my face and my hands
Lines form on the left and right
I'm in the middle
The middle of life
I'm a boy and I'm a man
I'm eighteen and I LIKE IT!
Yes I like it!
Oh I like it!
Love it!
Like it!
Love it!
Eighteen!
Eighteen!
Eighteen!
Eighteen and I LIKE IT!

----------~----------

7:42 pm. Here comes a great birthday!!! =D

Well that certainly was... pleasant.
Frick...

At least I'm over the other night...
Thanks Allie... you made me feel better.

Alright. So I'm not going to pussy-foot around this topic.
I'm really pissed off about last night.
Not for the fact that it was fun, and it was awesome hanging with the girls again for the first time in quite a while.
It was that you guys didn' show me one ounce of respect.
Right now, I don't care if you guys read this because guess what, I'm actually mad at you. For one thing. You know I don't drink, nor do I plan on drinking. I shouldn't have to explain myself, especially to my best friends why I won't. You of all people shouldn't shove drinking down my throat. You haven't done it for years so sure as hell don't start now. The only reason I agreed to that whole trip thing and whatnot was to just get off the subject of it. I brushed you off more or less. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I won't have the casual drink in my life... come on now that's ridiculous. But I will not, and will refuse to have you guys shove it down my throat like that. Friends are supposed to be understanding and respect their choices that they make. And that's mine. Also... on a religious note. What the hell have you guys read about drinking hmm? It says you shouldn't be drunk for it brings foolishness, pain and leaves you unawares or unprepared for something that could happen at that moment (in this case it speaks about the second coming cuz guess what... it can be that fast). Now whatever. That's just 5% of the reason I won't. I've grown up with drinking. I was a bartender at the ripe old age of ten. It's nothing new, nor is it anything exciting. I have no desire to become an idiot because of something I drink and I literally feel nauseous at the idea of something as simple as a drink can change the person who I've built myself to become and finally become happy with, just to watch it all go down hill even for only a couple of hours. Let me do my thing, you guys can do whatever the hell you want to.... just at least have the decency to respect what I do with my life or else we're going to have some serious issues ahead of us... at least I know there are some people still out there in this world of ours who respects me for my beliefs. I thought some of you would be them too...
That's it. You upset about what I wrote? Then come talk to me. The offers open.

- Jamie

Gypsy - Fleetwood Mac

So I'm back, to the velvet underground
Back to the floor, that I love
To a room with some lace and paper flowers
Back to the gypsy that I was
To the gypsy... that I was

And it all comes down to you
Well, you know that it does
Well, lightning strikes, maybe once, maybe twice
Ah, and it lights up the night
And you see your gypsy
You see your gypsy

To the gypsy that remains faces freedom with a little fear
I have no fear, I have only love
And if I was a child
And the child was enough
Enough for me to love
Enough to love

She is dancing away from me now
She was just a wish
She was just a wish
And a memory is all that is left for you now
You see your gypsy
You see your gypsy

Lightning strikes, maybe once, maybe twice
And it all comes down to you

And it all comes down to you

Lightning strikes, maybe once, maybe twice
And it all comes down to you

I still see your bright eyes, bright eyes
And it all comes down to you
I still see your bright eyes, bright eyes
And it all comes down to you

I still see your bright eyes, bright eyes
And it all comes down to you

Lightning strikes, maybe once, maybe twice
And it all comes down to you

Awe Kaylee.
I missed our randomness.
Hah we totally drove around the whole bloody city cept the west-side! Go us for ending up RIGHT back at where we started! (aka Tim's)
I missed you!
-xoxoxox-

Hahaha.
Guess where I am!
STM!
I have wireless and I didn't even know it!
Nathan... I owe you big time! =)
Eek Philosophy. Maybe MSN will make it go faster =P
Later Days Kids!

So I'm back from Winnipeg. It was a wonderful service. Absolutely amazing:

-----------------------------------------------


JOHN (JACK) ALEXANDER HUTCHINSON (published on October 12, 2005)

JOHN (JACK) ALEXANDER HUTCHINSON Jack Hutchinson quietly passed away at the Victoria General Hospital Saturday, October 8, 2005. He was predeceased by his wife of 25 years Margaret (nee Dingey). Jack is survived by his loving wife of 36 years, Marguerite (Shail); his children, James (Janet) Hutchinson, Susan Hutchinson (Bob Johnson), Kathy Shail (Bob Logan), Patti Shail (Greg Ballantyne) and Steve (Susan) Shail; his nine grandchildren who brought him such joy, Kristine, Kim, Nikki, Lori, Jennifer, Jillian, Tim, Amanda and Jamie and four great-grandchildren, Taylor, Breanna, Alexander and Aiden. Jack was born October 9, 1914 in Watrous, SK and after graduating, worked at Boyd Brothers, General Foods and retired from Robin Hood Flour with over 25 years of service, in Moosejaw, Montreal and Winnipeg. Jack flew with the R.A.F. in the Second World War and was a proud member of the Wartime Pilots. He was a P.O.W. from 1942 - 1944 and was a member of the Escapees Society of Winnipeg. Two of his many passions were golf and curling which he participated in at the Wildwood Club where he and Marguerite were members for many years. Jack, or Papa as he was affectionately called not only by his grandchildren, was a wonderful storyteller, a relentless kidder (just ask his grandkids) and always enjoyed a good argument, especially if he won. A celebration of Jack's life will be held on Thursday, October 13, at 2:00 p.m. at Trinity United Church, 933 Summerside Avenue, with Reverend Milly Malavsky officiating. The family gratefully acknowledges the kind care always given by Dr. Brian Sharkey. Live your life to the fullest, and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart... I will be there... We will be whispering your name often, Papa. Arrangements entrusted to: CHAPEL LAWN FUNERAL HOME CREMATION AND RECEPTION CENTRE 885-9715 Family and friends are invited to sign the Book of Condolence at www.chapellawn.mb.ca

---------------------------------------------------------

Awe Papa. I will forever hold onto your spirit and memory. I love you so very much, and am so happy that you are at peace now.

I gotta tell you, I honostly didn't cry during the service and the 'burial'... but what set me off... if only for a moment or two... was turning around and seeing Brittney just bawling. Mrs. Strukoff was also there.

I don't have much to say... I'm still having my moments... perhaps it was just building up from so many deaths before... but I know I'll have a moment of pure breakdown. That's okay. It's natural and oh so honorary to cry about someone you love.

On another note... I found this poem (which I made into a cute little image and stuck it on my Nexopia profile. I thought it was really sweet. Some of the things I didn't really see... but I also didn't want to alter the poem:

So ya. I gotta get going. Kaylee's on her way. Later Days Mon Amis!

Wow.

I will always love you Papa. The times you shared your stories with me on the living room couch, the times we watched movies together, or played crib. I'll always cherish the times you drove me to school, went to church with me and so many more.

I'm a little shaken and messed up right now. I don't know what to think. It comes and goes in stages.

Always follow your instinct people, it's God's way of speaking to you.

Love you forever and always Papa... I'll miss you so very much.... I want to say RIP. But that's too morbid. For you all I say is rest... you've lived a life to deserve it.

31 Things Girls Want Guys to Know

1. We respond to chivalry. Equals, put down the freaking toilet seat.
2. When we say "It's just that time of month" don't look confused because we WILL say "Ok. Fine. I am bleeding out my bottom. Happy?" Ask and we will tell. We are weird that way.
3. We know you think we are beautiful, but it might be nice if you agreed with us every once in a while so we can punch you and you can hug us back. That tends to be a good way to work it.
4. If we are wearing hoodies and sweats, odds are we are either moody or we want you to tell us we are beautiful anyways.
5. Learn from the little icon piccy things. Use them against us at all possible opportunities if you want good results.
6. Romance is a killer way to get on our good side. Personal gain equals a bit of output.
7. If you want to learn about any girl, read her profile. We tend to drop hints every here and there. Another use them against us chance.
8. Make the best of conversations. When talking to a girl, say something like, "Hey, did you know...oh wait nevermind." It tends to lead to a flirty punch because we like knowing your secrets. Even if it is a stupid thing like, "I woke up thinking about you today." It is sooo cheezy, but when used appropriately, gives you an awesome chance at whatever you are trying to suck up to us for.
9.If you are too shy to tell a girl you like her, casually slip it into a conversation and then be like, "GASP! Don't tell her i said that!" Because we will be totally coy about it and tell her anyways.
10. Get on your girlfriend's friends' good side. we talk about you more than you will ever know.
11. If a girl starts hanging out with you all the time, and looks nicer each and every time, tell her. Even if you are gonna say there is no hope, be sweet about it so all the girls in your grade won't end up thinking you are a scumbag.
12. Don't be so bloody confusing all the time.
13. Don't be so bloody confusing all the time.
14. If you are going to be so bloody confusing, be confusing with your girlfriend. She will be a tad relieved that you are already dating so she only has to worry about holding onto you.
15. Ignore number 14, because YOU should be worrying about holding onto HER.
16. If you are in a relationship, make sure she knows why you are with her. Don't be over the top gushy, but spend enough time with her to prove that she is not just a piece of ass to twirl around and show off.
17. Go into relationships expecting them to last long enough that you will remember it in a month. Or a year. Whatever. Anyway, plan to preserve it if it is worth having.
18. Unless we know you well enough to not care, don't fart around us. Two words: Eww.
19. Don't fool around with our baby makers unless you want to make babies. Because you basically have to live with PMSing woman-types for 9 months and I know if I got pregnant I would make my man stay with me just to be able to say, "Look what you did to me you fool!"
20. As a side note on the worth it thing: Don't cheat on us then say you were practicing. What the hell?!?! Practice on your girlfriend you shmuck!
21. Girls tend to love with their whole heart, so maybe it would be nice if you let go of your macho pride and returned the favor.
22. We would really prefer you weren't jerks ever, but because you will inevitably always be some varying degree of asshole,
23. We still have dolls so we can rip their heads off and then put them back together so we can live out our true love fantasies in relative reality. *ahem.*
24. Stop basing our worthiness on our looks, because it kinda takes away from yours. Sad, but true. Watch the crowd you are attracting.
25. Don't disregard the girl that is already closest to your heart. She is probably there for a reason, she probably doesn't want to tell you, and you are just too stupid to figure it out.
26. Don't ask a girl why she is crying, because if she is crying in front of you she just wants you to hold her and kiss her forehead and tell her it's ok.
27. Follow our lead on flirting. When we start to look uncomfortable, back off, or else we won't flirt with you anymore. Ever.
28. Make us feel special. We love being needed, so ask us to open a jar for you or something.
29. Send us email messages with a random flower or bit of song lyric in it. Anything thoughtful is adorable. And uuber appreciated.
30. Return our phone calls. We are clearly calling for a reason, and if not it would be nice if you didn't call for a reason too.
31. Sneak up behind us and give us a big ol' pick-up-and-spin-around hug and then run away. That is the best sense of breathlessness ever because it is such a sweet way to fall in love.

A letter my family recieved from the Ontario Natural Resources peoples about the clearcutting at Minaki. Holy Mother Fucker am I pissed. Jamie's got a brand new mission in her life...

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September 20, 2005

Dear Sir/Madam:

In recent weeks the Ministry of Natural Resources has received several letters from cottagers in the Minaki area, such as yourself, who are concerned with proposed forest harvesting near the Winnipeg River and Big Sand Lake. This letter is in response to these concerns.

In this area the required setback for forestry harvesting is 30 – 90m (slope dependant) from the waters edge and if there is no critical fish habitat, modified operations can be considered to the water’s edge. However, the proposed forestry operations for black 428 & 430 exceed all the relevant guidelines, policy and legislation by maintaining at least a 90m buffer from the treed edge. In itself this prescription will provide a visual buffer fro much of the area on the water.

Furthermore, in recognition of the comments received, this buffer will be increased to 120m where the 90m buffer would allow the cut block to be seen when the viewer is adjacent to the western shoreline of Big Sand Lake.

Due to the potential sightlines and significant sight distances from such a large water body as the Winnipeg River/Big Sand Lake, it is unrealistic to provide a complete visual buffer for these blocks from all points on the water, some of which may extend several kilometres away.

It should be noted that any buffer, regardless of width, does not provide guarantees that natural disturbance factors (e.g. fire, wind, insects) will not affect the forest stands along the Winnipeg River/Big Sand Lake, and subsequently viewscapes. As a matter of fact, as these shoreline areas continue to age and mature, such events become more and more likely.

Thank you again for brining your concerns to our attention.


Sincerely,
Stephen Duda
Kenora District Planner

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First off. Ever hear of grammer? How about a dictionary... cutblock? sightlines? Viewscapes?! Those aren't even words... at least according to MY DICTIONARY! Fuckers...

I may only be 18 years old... but I sure as hell am gonna put up a mad fight for my home...